My relationship with food has never been a bad one but it's never been an outstanding one either.
I have memories of Deb potato in a can, my Mums corn beef with white sauce and eating a whole bag of Wagon Wheels until I made myself sick, and that wouldn't be the last time either.
I was always naturally thin presumably blessed with a high metabolism, so I ate whatever I wanted without any repurcussions that I could tell.
I had a general commonsense approach to food and in my early twenties I switched to a vegetarian diet, although I didn't have a whole lot of knowledge about being a healthy vego.
It wasn't until I fell pregnant that I really started to pay attention to my eating habits.
I was always pretty good with my veggies and the other food groups but my sweet tooth was full tilt.
After my second baby I began to notice weight gain and hormonal craziness.
I was plagued with a fanging sweet tooth, a case of PCOS and an increasing waist line.
Fast forward to today and I'm the heaviest I've ever been, 18 months post partum and suffering from a range of PCOS related symptoms.
My relationship with food has turned into a repeat binge session and an emotional roller coaster that I'm ready to get off of.
Ive come to see food as an emotional life line instead of a fuel source for my body and a pleasure for my senses.
Ive forgotten to "Love what I eat and Eat what I love"
Ive forgotten to listen to my bodies wisdom and connect with the life force of the foods that I eat.
And so from today I commit to eating from a space of love, healing and awareness.
I commit to connecting with my food and being mindful at each meal.
But most importantly I commit to embracing a healthy relationship with the food I eat knowing I am ingesting the living essence of nature.
Id love to share this journey with you because putting it out there is being vulnerable, brave and honest with myself and it's a form of accountability, to stick to my guns and embrace this change with all my heart.
I'd love to invite you to share your food journey with me by asking yourself these questions;
"What is your current relationship with food?"
"What do you want your relationship with food to look like?"
"What steps can you take to create your ideal food relationship!"
Although im not a qualified nutritionist I've done an immense amount of my own research and intend to follow my intuition when it comes to what is healthy for my body and energy systems.
I encourage you to do the same.
In the coming weeks I will share some resources, books and recipes that I love and I look forward to sharing my food journey with you :-)
What seems like a life time ago and only yesterday at the same time, I was in a kind of shitty place!
I was a strung out sad little lady with a big heart and naive sense of wonder. I was madly in love with the world and I was in over my head.
When I finally broke, it was a far away tree that saved my sanity. A far away tree, as in a tree off in the distance from the balcony I looked at it from and not the fairy tale book some might be familiar with, although the story could be straight from a fairy tale never the less.
That tree was the only real and pure thing in my life at the time and gazing at it daily was my saving grace.
It may seem like a naive notion and more than that it probably seems like the tale of a mad person, and maybe both are true ;-)
But for me, the resulting outcome from my connection with that tree changed me forever.
That tree was the only tree I could see from that balcony that looked over the city landscape of concrete.
What I once thought as a wonderland of opportunity, excitement and endless party nights turned into a nightmare drenched in the visions of the fears of everyone around me.
i was an empath with the volume turned up to extreme, my psychic antenna was picking up ALL the frequencies and my sensitive brain couldn't deal with the input.
It was like tuning into 100 different channels all at once and trying to make out which noise belonged to which station.
Strange and frightening thoughts filled my waking hours and sleep eluded me most nights, I immersed myself in the dark where I was able to blend with the shadows that haunted me, I drowned out the horrid thoughts and visions with throbbing beats and drug and alcohol fuelled soundscapes.
You see, the thoughts and visions weren't my own but I didn't know that and the fear and terror were the shadows of the people around me, but I didn't know that either.
i was simply tuning into their fears and vulnerabilities and had no way of knowing the difference. I considered myself quite mad and like Alice, falling down the rabbit hole to who knows where.
But back to that tree!!!
The tree that spoke as clear as day and whose voice cut through the noise and the illusion that surrounded me.
it was upon hearing that tree that I knew there was peace to be found, there was beauty and love in the world, it wasn't all noise and horror.
i don't know what power that tree had or if it even had any at all but everyday as I looked out at that tree and connected with something bigger and beyond my understanding I began to heal, I moved into spaces of softness instead of living on the hard edges of the world.
It was that tree that ignited my passion and curiosity to explore the healing and illuminating world of nature, of eco-centric living.
it is my dream to share with you and anyone with the heart to listen to the voice of the trees that seek to connect with the human condition.
We humans are natural beings as much as the trees and clouds and forests.
it is our conditioning that seeks to create an illusion of seperation and disconnect, and when we believe we are not connected it is easier to distance ourselves from resonsponsibility and accountability.
It is my hope that through sharing my words and my sometimes crazy shit with you, that we can connect and create a ripple of change for the human condition and open our hearts to the trees and to the natural world around us and within us :-)