What seems like a life time ago and only yesterday at the same time, I was in a kind of shitty place!
I was a strung out sad little lady with a big heart and naive sense of wonder. I was madly in love with the world and I was in over my head.
When I finally broke, it was a far away tree that saved my sanity. A far away tree, as in a tree off in the distance from the balcony I looked at it from and not the fairy tale book some might be familiar with, although the story could be straight from a fairy tale never the less.
That tree was the only real and pure thing in my life at the time and gazing at it daily was my saving grace.
It may seem like a naive notion and more than that it probably seems like the tale of a mad person, and maybe both are true ;-)
But for me, the resulting outcome from my connection with that tree changed me forever.
That tree was the only tree I could see from that balcony that looked over the city landscape of concrete.
What I once thought as a wonderland of opportunity, excitement and endless party nights turned into a nightmare drenched in the visions of the fears of everyone around me.
i was an empath with the volume turned up to extreme, my psychic antenna was picking up ALL the frequencies and my sensitive brain couldn't deal with the input.
It was like tuning into 100 different channels all at once and trying to make out which noise belonged to which station.
Strange and frightening thoughts filled my waking hours and sleep eluded me most nights, I immersed myself in the dark where I was able to blend with the shadows that haunted me, I drowned out the horrid thoughts and visions with throbbing beats and drug and alcohol fuelled soundscapes.
You see, the thoughts and visions weren't my own but I didn't know that and the fear and terror were the shadows of the people around me, but I didn't know that either.
i was simply tuning into their fears and vulnerabilities and had no way of knowing the difference. I considered myself quite mad and like Alice, falling down the rabbit hole to who knows where.
But back to that tree!!!
The tree that spoke as clear as day and whose voice cut through the noise and the illusion that surrounded me.
it was upon hearing that tree that I knew there was peace to be found, there was beauty and love in the world, it wasn't all noise and horror.
i don't know what power that tree had or if it even had any at all but everyday as I looked out at that tree and connected with something bigger and beyond my understanding I began to heal, I moved into spaces of softness instead of living on the hard edges of the world.
It was that tree that ignited my passion and curiosity to explore the healing and illuminating world of nature, of eco-centric living.
it is my dream to share with you and anyone with the heart to listen to the voice of the trees that seek to connect with the human condition.
We humans are natural beings as much as the trees and clouds and forests.
it is our conditioning that seeks to create an illusion of seperation and disconnect, and when we believe we are not connected it is easier to distance ourselves from resonsponsibility and accountability.
It is my hope that through sharing my words and my sometimes crazy shit with you, that we can connect and create a ripple of change for the human condition and open our hearts to the trees and to the natural world around us and within us :-)